Seriously Catherine – How to Keep Going with Brittany Burnham | Episode 1 – Palette
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Seriously Catherine – How to Keep Going with Brittany Burnham | Episode 1

A Power House in business and fitness, Brittany Burnham sits down for a very personal in-depth conversation covering everything from starting a booming gym and training business, to fighting for custody of her step-children with her American football player fiancé Joe Sykes, to finding faith and patience. This episode is PACKED with experiences and knowledge to help anyone traverse harder times in both life and business.

You can find Brittany on Instagram or visit her website

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*This Transcript is Autogenerated*

Brittany Burnham 0:00
trust is something I’m always trying to build on every facet. Yeah. In relationships, and as a boss and as a mom, you

Catherine Hover 0:08
present as this like bubbly, amazing, confident helper. But like don’t cross you right? Yeah, you got boundaries. You’re working on you strengthening them. And

Brittany Burnham 0:20
I always felt that don’t mistake my kindness for weakness

Catherine Hover 0:31
Welcome to seriously Catherine a podcast about taking your business seriously, but not yourself. All right, guys, this is it. This is the first episode. I am so excited. I mean, if you can’t tell, look at this face. I’m so pumped. And I’ve been wanting to do a podcast for a while now. I think a lot of times people were like, You should write a blog or you should journal entry. Honestly, Instagram has become a journal entry for me. So anything you see on Instagram is like me talking to myself not so much doing it for the likes, as much as I’m doing it just to record what’s happening. And I’m just not a good writer when it comes to like writing out a journal. I mean, my therapist would tell you, she’s told me to write a journal for years and I have yet to crack the pen and book. So this is a great way to do that. I just I think I’m better at verbalizing what I’m communicating in that way, what I’m thinking and what’s going on in my life. So here we go. This is it. There’s the first episode, the first episode, we have Bernie Burnham on the program, she is a mom, she’s an entrepreneur, she has gone through so much, I would say trials and tribulations and challenges and what I love most about her and I think what I love about all the people that I’m going to have on my program are authentic, they’re candid, they’re honest, they’re gonna tell it like it is. And that is what I think that we need more of that and more joy and optimism and hope and positivity. So she’s gonna bring all that to the program. I’m so excited for you to meet her and hear more about her story. But before we get into that, I have a little hot take that I needed to get off my chest and the hot take is all about my girl, Britney Spears, she is coming out with a book. By the time you’re listening to this episode, it would have already come out we’re having a party to commemorate and to cheers and toast to her coming out with this book. She’s sharing it, she’s telling everything. And I think it’s going to be so incredibly revealing just how much she’s been through and how impactful the last, I don’t know, 20 years of her life have been I love Britney and I think it’s really incredibly challenging to, to come out and say your side of the story or, you know, share what, what you have been through. And so I’m thrilled to see her book coming out. And like, Look, she’s on Instagram, she’s sharing these crazy videos, but I honestly I’m questioning when these videos were actually created because there are some like her most recent one has like a Christmas tree in the background. And it’s not Christmas time. Like I’m just questioning the validity and the timestamp of these videos. I also want to point out that her now ex husband, Sam has been very supportive of her. I just kept thinking like, girl can’t can’t find you know, she just doesn’t want to be lonely. She doesn’t she wants to have a partner and so I’m dying to hear if she’s gonna write anything about Sam in this book, but it seems like he’s even like, it seems like they separated amicably. And they still are friends and stuff. And I love that I love I like um, Team Sam, I like Sam. So she also I believe has it’s been reported that she’s maybe shared some really personal stuff when she was dating Justin. And that’s all coming out. And so listen, this is also just sort of like you can’t forget the past. I know like some people like Oh, forgive and forget, but you really can’t you. You can forgive. You can say like, Okay, this thing happened to me when I was 17 or 15 or whatever. You can forgive the people who have done this to you or treated you like shit, but you can’t forget it. Right? So I think it’s like healthy for her to come out and like just air it all out. What’s wrong with that? My point is I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to read this book. We’re having a party, a pallet to commend emirate, her book coming out. It’s called The Woman in me. So the book comes out on Tuesday. By the time you’re listening to this, it’s out so you should go get the book you should read it. The audio book part a portion of the audio book is read by Brittany, but the majority of the audio book is read by Michelle Williams, who posted that she stands with Brittany and I’m with her I stand with Brittany. I think that we need to support her in a way that we have never supported her as a society. She is truly this is who she is. This is who she’s become from all of the time. drama that she has experienced over the years in the public eye. So I’m, I’m like I’m here for it. I’m ready to read this book. So I would love to hear what you think I am an open book if I’m getting a totally wrong or I need my perspective shifted, I am all open for that. So DM me on Instagram, my handles at Catherine hoever. slot into my DMs and just tell me like it is whether you agree or disagree, I’m open to all the feedback. Now is time for the facepalm mom moment of the week. I have facepalm mom moments daily. But for the purposes of this podcast, we’re just gonna focus on one per week, I’ll pick my best one. This week’s facepalm mom moment was focused around Ruby which I have a feeling most facepalm moments will be focused around Ruby. She’s my five year old. I have a nine year old and a four year old also. But Ruby is my middle one. And she is quintessential middle child basket case. So we ordered Halloween costumes on Amazon because anyone who’s ever brought children to a party city or the spirit store knows the struggle. We are ordering all of our costumes on Amazon don’t give me shit for it. Because anybody who’s been to a spirit store with three kids looking for Halloween costumes, it’s torture and chaos and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. So we ordered everything on Amazon everything came in on like a Wednesday right so the next day, we get another package. And we’re all dressing up as Star Wars teams because like we’re Star Wars people were Star Wars family Posies really into it. So she’s got us all looped into it now. We just finished watching Oh, Ahsoka, and we’re all dressing up for Halloween Star Wars themed so all the costumes come in on Wednesday. So on Thursday, we get another box from Amazon. And Ruby is exceptionally excited to open this box. She opens up it’s a Hermione wand. And Raul like wow, that’s weird. No one. What are the whole Hermione one? No one’s dressing up like Harry Potter. And she’s like, can we keep it? I was like, Yeah, sure. I guess it was just a mistake on Amazon’s part, I will take the extra box that they sent to us, which is such a stupid response. Amazon doesn’t accidentally send you boxes that you didn’t order. Anyway, days go by. And then I’m getting all these email confirmations from Amazon that I have like more orders placed orders that I didn’t order. So I think immediately I’m like, oh my god, I was hacked. And then I looked at all the things that were ordered. And I knew it had to be Ruby. She was somehow figuring out how to order Amazon from in the house. I was hacked from within the house by Ruby, the Ruby monster. That’s what we call her. So I called her into the room. I’m like, listen, Ruby, are you ordering things on Amazon? She looks at me dead in the eye. And she smiles and says no, like lied to my face. Anyway, we figure out we figured out we got to the bottom of it. She was using the echo which is another Amazon product. I swear to God, I’m not being sponsored by Amazon. But it’s little echo device. And it’s like she can you know at night she can say like, played me up on that bed bedtime story or she listened to music. It’s cool, you know, you can like put, you know, parameters on it. But I had not put the parameter of not being able to order through the echo. So anyway, long story short, we caught off that she was able to order anything on Amazon anymore through her ACO anyway. So the next like next couple of days. I’m like going to this event with Jackie, my friend Jackie. She’s awesome. We call her my kids car and Jackie. And so I’m like recounting the story to her. And she’s like, well, what, what was the? What was her punishment? You know, did you did you? Did you punish her for this? And I said, No, absolutely not. I think it’s brilliant that she figured out how to get exactly what she wanted after I told her no, I don’t even think she asked me permission for the desk that she ordered. She ordered shoes. She ordered an outfit, a desk. That was the most alarming thing. I’m like this pitch was buying a $300 desk to put in her room, which she has no space for. Anyway, I couldn’t. I couldn’t I was impressed. I thought wow, wow, she’s going to be the leader of a women’s organization or or Lady gang in the jail one of the two. She’s definitely leadership material. If you have a facepalm mom moment, which I know you do, just picture yourself doing this. After something happens. You do this, you immediately have to capture this right send it to me on Instagram, send a DM with me or you tagging in one of your stories. I would love to tell your story. I can’t be the only one that has these moments on a weekly basis. So please share them with me and we’ll laugh together. Alright guys, today I have something truly special for all of you listeners out there. Especially if you’re planning a getaway or staycation in the heart of Saratoga Springs New York. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the hidden gem of saratoga springs. The Delphi hotel not really hidden though because it is right smack dab in the middle of town on rodeway if you’re searching for an experience that combines history, luxury and modern charm the adult fi hotel is the place to be. It’s more like a resort if you ask me. I’ve had the opportunity to stay here and let me tell you it’s an absolute dream. Did you know that they

also host events and weddings? Yes, they do at all. The Adelphi hotel is more than just a place to say it’s an experience in itself. Picture yourself in a room with stunning decor and plush bedding you will feel like royalty, if you’re able definitely booked the Polaris rom because it has a Jacuzzi tub on the balcony. I mean, what mom doesn’t need a staycation here with no kids and maybe even no husband, foodies. Listen up Morrissey’s lounge and Bistro. Their onsite restaurant offers a culinary journey. That’s nothing short of exquisite. Have you had the best sushi in town yet? Well, this is where you get it. Get the rainbow roll. You’ll thank me later. So dear listeners, whether you’re planning a romantic getaway a girl’s weekend, or just a relaxing solo escape the Adelphi hotel is your perfect destination. When you’re here. You’re not just a guest, you’re part of the legacy of Saratoga Springs, booking your stay today, Polaris wait. Alright, guys, it’s time for the interview with Brittany Burnham. I’m so excited to share her story with you. Let’s get to it. Tell us how you got started with performance bonus recovering. You got it? So do you say it like when you’re talking about it? You’re like, Oh, I’m going to power I’m going to but before that you were hit it with Brett. And you were a candidate strength and conditioning coach. Bring us through like that journey of evolution. Right?

Brittany Burnham 11:37
Yeah, I actually wasn’t even thinking of ever being a strength and conditioning coach. I wasn’t athletic director prior at all the leadership Charter High School for Girls. And life was very complicated. I was a single parent. And I thought I was gonna go into a different field. I went in, I went back to college actually went back to Hudson Valley to be an ultrasound tech. And I was working at Albany med. It wasn’t for me, it wasn’t the right fit. But I tried it out. I actually took some anatomy and physiology classes, and I loved the human body. So that’s when I decided let’s get back into the health and fitness field, since I was no longer an athletic director. And that’s when I decided to get my personal training certification. Started hit it with Britton, my mom’s backyard with eight women, which led to round 20 women in the park around the corner and Albany. And then I rented out a cheer facility. I had no clue what I was doing. Go like

Catherine Hover 12:35
backup backup. Like you’re a single mom and you’re like teaching. You’re an athletic director.

Brittany Burnham 12:41
I was right. Yes.

Catherine Hover 12:42
So when you decide you’re gonna go back to school, me and ultrasound tech was just like, I need money. I need stability. It needs any structure.

Brittany Burnham 12:48
I honestly think I was just in a really tough season, I was trying to figure out my identity. I wasn’t in a good place of loving myself. So I took a whole new turn, you know, when you go that fork in the road, and like let’s just try something completely outside my comfort zone. I’m all about learning. I love absorbing new content and being pregnant and being a single parent. I was like, Oh, baby inside of me. This is cool. I figured out the science about behind this. But I was in a really tough spot mentally, physically, emotionally. I was on food stamps. I was on WIC living with my mom. So it was very humbling. But I knew I was capable of more like I knew that I was going to get out of this rut. Yeah, I just had to figure out how and with who like who could help me because everything was trial and error. I was there was a lot of failures. Yeah. And those failures made me you know, fail forward and figure out. This was this was for me, this isn’t for me. Yeah, yeah.

Catherine Hover 13:51
Well, it’s interesting to like when you’re in that zone of like, just creating and figuring it out and connecting the dots, I find that I love that part of the process. Okay, so tell us about this mastermind group, like because you’re not doing enough.

Brittany Burnham 14:04
Well, this is something that I know this is Ben on the low, it hasn’t been marketed, it is coming out. So it’s coming out in the next two to three months. I’ve got my partners and I wanted to start small and see how it was working. And now that we found that it’s been successful, and that it’s been received from the women that we have in our cohorts, and there’s a men’s side too. Okay, I hired two coaches, because I wanted to navigate the personal and the professional side and bring it together with this small women’s group. It’s called unfiltered freedom. And we are being raw gritty and talking about chasing the five freedoms of life, which is wealth and health purpose, which is your career relationships, relationship with yourself with your significant other and with your circle. And then time time. Yeah, I mean, for God’s sakes, yeah. I mean, you can’t even get it together.

Catherine Hover 14:56
I know. I know. Well, we got it together for this So those like the follow those five things you came up with yourself because like your own framework

Brittany Burnham 15:06
is with my with my business coach.

Catherine Hover 15:08
Oh god. Oh fun. Yeah, so exciting. I mean, I say this all the time but palette, it’s like it’s so much more fun to accomplish it together like with other people, and there’s not enough and honestly there’s no no time but like I do have this sense of urgency like I want all these things. Like now dammit of the hand, it’s our culture but but it’s all that if you like work with other people, you collaborate you, you know, feed off of each other. Like, for example, like, Would I love to write a book one day? Yeah, I’d like to fucking write a book. But I didn’t get to be today didn’t get me tomorrow. But when other people who are part of hell that are writing books and authoring books and publishing books, I’m like, I feel the sense of like, when with them. Hell yeah. It’s so much fun. That’s why I joined

Brittany Burnham 15:52
palette to being connected with more like minded women. I was getting tired of the small talk and the surface level conversations, how’s the weather and like, I need some deeper level conversations and women who get it and women who want to be the change.

Catherine Hover 16:08
I like was grew up thinking I just could be a mom, or I could just be whatever and whatever, whatever that was, had to coincide with being a mom. Like my mom, for example. Like her, her life revolves around us. Thank God because she’s awesome. We’re awesome for right. But she became I want to say she loved teaching and all that has been saying she doesn’t have a passion for teaching, but like it aligned with being a mom, because then she had all for summers. And she had same schedule as a kid, you know, so it works for her. Right?

Brittany Burnham 16:36
But mine, like amazed. Yeah, how that’s this that’s like, they’re they are so passionate about that. I love that. My mom’s like, I never felt like I worked a day in my life.

Catherine Hover 16:46
Yeah, well, I don’t think my mom says that. But but my my, I guess my point is that I wanted to do what I want to do right in life and for my business. And part of that is also being a mom and I want to integrate all of this together, you know, like, like, I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Miami for this, the CEO conference, Entrepreneurs Organization, and they have different chapters all over the world. And they have these amazing conferences that you can go and you can like, sit down with people who are like living like the picking up which putting down their into what you’re into in the cup. And I don’t want to have guilt that I’m like, leaving my kids you know what I’m saying? So I’ve created like this village around my my kids, and I don’t want to choose a lane. And I want to be other people who are not choosing a lane, right? Like I want to be around people who have multi passions. They’re great moms, but they’re badass in business too. And they have great relationships with their their spouse, like that’s huge for me, like I want to be around people who all those things are important.

Brittany Burnham 17:47
Do you think that I appreciate Joe so much. This is what we’re talking about relationships and the freedom of relationships. I was so used to doing everything by myself with bread because I was a single parent. And I was both mom and dad and controlled everything. Well, last night, I was like, I got put together by oh really quick. He’s like, I’ll put her to bed. I’ll give her the bath. And I was just like, I was like you do everything. But you know what I had to think and say, okay, accept it, embrace it. I appreciate that. He is hands on. I love that. He wants to do that. And then I don’t have to feel guilty about it. But I didn’t feel guilty for a second. I’m like, she’s good. She’s ready.

Catherine Hover 18:23
But like just that awareness to be like, you know, you just like wipe it away, picks

Brittany Burnham 18:27
her up every day therapist I want I want to be able to like open my arms and say mommy’s here and then it’s just right. Right. But it’s

Catherine Hover 18:34
important for you have daughters, right? I mean, it’s important for them to see their dad doing some

Brittany Burnham 18:40
of the stuff Yeah, and see their mom killing it. Yeah, right. Exactly the badass and empowering I want to empower them. I just bought them on Amazon this morning. And empowerment competent book like two older ones a journal and then the younger one a coloring book. Oh five it’s so important for me to know because they do ask me they see me on their Mother’s Day card it was like something filled out from school. What’s mommy’s favorite spot? I thought they’re gonna put the beach they said mommy’s desk and her

Catherine Hover 19:10
eyes that she had working Yeah,

Brittany Burnham 19:12
so and I didn’t necessarily see that growing up my parents both educators so this is unique for me and how to explain to them you know it’s more so I’m doing this for us and so we can go have vacation we can go out to dinner at night are then where I can have time and and turn off my phone Yeah, yeah, it’s hard.

Catherine Hover 19:35
Yeah, but so there’s another like value or like asset to that mindset is like when shit hits the fan and you are pulled out of commission. You have other people there that are able to step in and and help you right so we both actually had some like health issues. I was in the hospital. A month ago. You had the Achille was Achilles Yeah, yeah, so it’s like you are forced to let other people step in and help you and help your kids and help your family. How hard it was really, really, it was just like, okay, so I don’t know if it was hard as much as it made me feel like pride, huh? Do you know what I’m like? Oh, yeah,

Brittany Burnham 20:18
so I feel more grateful. Yeah, I was trying to find more gratitude and and then seeing how Joe picked up the slack and everything that I was doing and I was like, Oh, I love you. It was it was really trying to shift that because when you’re feeling at your worst, like how can you change that shift that mentality? I feel

Catherine Hover 20:38
like we could have like a sub podcast season just on like the what you’re going through mentally and like unpacking it. So it was first of all my I don’t think my marriage has ever been stronger after that experience because marked and he stepped up. I didn’t have to ask him that’s, that’s one thing that we struggle with is like, I don’t feel like I should have to ask you to do XYZ. Like, don’t you have the intuition? Don’t you have the the knowledge to just like, step in? But no, he doesn’t. He wasn’t like, you know, yeah, brought up that way. So he just doesn’t have that. And that’s something I used to like, like, historically, we’ve married 12 years and have like, historically, we get so fed up with and pissed about, you know, just stupid shit. But it’s like, how do you not know to like, pick up the shame care of that or put your put your dishes in the sink? That’s one of the things I’m just like, I just can’t understand. I know why we don’t just put the dishes in the sink. We are different. Into the state. It’s so hard. It’s bizarre. Well, I mean, I have a feeling I know what it is. It’s like his he’s never had to put the dishes in the fucking thing. Never had to do that. I always, always

Brittany Burnham 21:46
had a dishwasher. I’m just like, can you empty? Yeah, can you put in the dishwasher? Easier, right?

Catherine Hover 21:50
I mean, I grew up with no dishwasher as well. And that’s why we did not leave dishes on the on the counter. We put them on the frickin thing. Because it’s like one of my another like, this is like not to shit on Mark. But like another thing that irritates the living daylights out of me is like he’ll use like, like a spoon or knife with Nutella or peanut butter. And then he just leaves it. Now that’s one thing he puts in the thing, but he doesn’t soak it,

Brittany Burnham 22:15
soak it, because it’s just gonna get hard. And

Catherine Hover 22:19
this this peanut was never gonna come off of it doesn’t doesn’t matter how strong a dishwasher is. This shouldn’t come off. And it’s just like one of those things. I’m like, Have you never dug ditches before? And like,

Brittany Burnham 22:30
I have five kids? I’m a four a five.

Catherine Hover 22:32
Yeah. Oh, I say that all the time. I have i People say how many kids you have? I have three but four become a husband. What we’re actually talking about though, is like, okay, because this is probably going to be something that resonates with you, right? So it’s not until we’re completely taken out, like entirely, that we recognize what a what an amazing support system we have in our, in our spouses in the community around us and our friends, like my family’s not here, right. So like, obviously, my mom would have got on a plane and flew up here if that would have been necessary, but it was like, it wasn’t necessary. I mean, I’m so I’ve got so many people around me. And although I felt like shit, because I couldn’t physically get up to do anything. And if I did show up a pallet Marcella would have kicked me out because she’d have been like, what are you doing here? Go away. I mean, she came to my house, like the day after I got home the hospital. And I was like, I think by Monday, I’m gonna be feel great. I’m gonna be so ready to get back in there. And we had deadlines we had shipped we were working towards, you know, and she was like, I don’t think you understand, like, you almost died. And like the fact that you’re not taking this seriously. It really kind of pisses me off. Like, are you are you that, like, you need those you need, like you need to understand, like, you know, you’re not going to be okay, in a week, like, in a couple of days. So that’ll happen right? And then the following week, I was even more frustrated that I wasn’t rebounding. I wasn’t I wasn’t just like, okay, yeah, and it wasn’t like you’re right you’re not well, like you should go forward and it was like yeah, you’re not well, you wouldn’t be well No normal person would be well at this point not even you so sit back relax suffer in the helplessness of this all and let other people step up and it’s not like the world is gonna keep spinning you don’t I’m saying like you’re just like, it’s all gonna be alright, nothing none of this is life or death. You literally almost died and

Brittany Burnham 24:32
it’s thinking that it’s like it’s gonna be okay. I always this too shall pass. Yeah, you know, this is temporary can only get better, like those are my, that is my mindset every time or like, Oh, if you’re handed it you can handle it. Like I say these little things in my head because all these obstacles that we have overcome, there’s a reason for it. And I just recorded this on my podcast instead of why is this happening to me? Why why did this happen? It is what is this doing for me and you You made you step back and made you slow down. You are constantly just like myself, we are on to the next thing and on to the next thing if you don’t feel productive, I don’t feel successful. You know, it’s yeah, that it’s that mompreneur mindset of just gotta get shut down and gotta keep moving forward. Yeah.

Catherine Hover 25:18
And yeah, I mean slow down. It really did like just I cannot pinpoint a time when I’ve been more confident and secure and, and happy in my marriage. I mean, honestly, he’s stepped up so much. And I didn’t have to ask him right. Like, it just is evident he took off of work, he took it he just like, swooped in. And it was incredible. I mean, and again, and again, other people swooped in to have it’s just the coolest thing. And so like, that’s what I go back to the sense of pride. And so I almost like and maybe this is gonna be difficult to unpack, but like, I almost felt like, maybe there isn’t anything else I need to do. You know what I mean? Like, my kids are, like, taking care of Mark stepping up, like, maybe I was like, supposed to actually die. I know, this doesn’t sound like I’m not suicidal. I’m not saying like, I should have died. It’s just like this, like, unpacking of like, holy shit. Like, if I did die, everybody would be fine. Right? Like, sure, there would be mourning and probably a memorial service, like a parade down Broadway, but a lot more than that, from people would like, carry on.

Brittany Burnham 26:24
Yeah. Because you have to you don’t have a choice.

Catherine Hover 26:27
You don’t have a choice of a choice. But it’s like, but people want, like, you know, want to make

Brittany Burnham 26:32
sure there’s enough credit, I guess, because we’re all we’re so focused, and we’re in our bubble that I can do this or I can I know I get that in my head. Or it’s just the notion

Catherine Hover 26:42
that like, like, no one else can do it. Right. I mean, I miss what you’re saying. Like, there’s not only no one else can do it, but no one else can do it like me. That’s all bullshit. I know. Right? Like, there’s you there are, there are like tons of more losses, right and different all over the place. Okay, so this ties into this other like belief that I have, and like, what motivates me is like the fear of regret. So I put myself out there, I do the damn thing. I shoot my shot, like whenever I can just because like, why not? I just don’t I just have a very strong fear of regret. Like, I don’t want to be on my deathbed thinking like, ah, should have done that. Right. And when I was pretty much on my deathbed, I didn’t think that, you know, I wasn’t thinking like, oh, man, I still have so much more to do or are like, I didn’t tell so and so I love you. Any of the I didn’t have any of that. I felt like this sense of like peace and like, Oh, my God, I would it would be okay.

Brittany Burnham 27:36
No, everything would be okay. That’s like the season. That’s why I was forcing you to slow down. And I feel you completely can resume. And when you’re talking about like, when we we keep telling ourselves so I do it my way. And no one can do it our way. And it goes back to our businesses, too. I think about that was coming up for me is with my business with him with Britta power. I’ve been and thinking that I have to do everything from the operations and work in the business and how am I going to be able to move forward and and reach my potential and my other dreams if I’m not going to be able to let go and have the confidence and trust the process that my team can run a business? It’s the same thing at home. Yeah, it really is so parallel.

Catherine Hover 28:22
It’s it is it is and I’ve I mean it shows in our businesses it shows in our home life, like we’ve completely integrated both of these things into our world. So you know,

Brittany Burnham 28:31
I miss that innocence and that adventure part of myself. The fun. The fun, like the inner little Brittany, who just didn’t have a care in the world was unapologetic.

Catherine Hover 28:42
You’re feisty, feisty, so sassy. I would like talk back to my mom so fast. I mean, she wouldn’t she there would be consequences,

Brittany Burnham 28:51
but like it would, but it’d be like, right to that line. You know, we’re like crossing that line. I’d put like, Yeah, I’m toe over, just so I didn’t get really in trouble. I just like spoken to when we were young, and we’re so innocent. And we are beliefs that we could do anything that we wanted, wanted to and then changes as we get older. And just I think about that and makes me just want to explore more with my kids and just the most the most fun we have is when mom and dad are having fun and just letting loose to

Catherine Hover 29:21
Yeah, you know, it’s so true. I mean, there’s been experiences when Posey she’s my nine year old has looked at me and been like, I am cool, like, like, well, you’re you’re gonna go on that roller coaster with us and like yes, I am. I mean, again, I’m a Disney fanatic. It’s another thing that just like I can’t I can’t help a mansion I’m a Disney fanatic and it’s because of the fun it’s

Brittany Burnham 29:46
crazy how the children that come out of you are just can be so different.

Catherine Hover 29:51
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Brittany Burnham 31:11
I have the conversations with the girls about just having your unique strengths and and embracing them and accepting new all girls so

Catherine Hover 31:20
three girls one boy, and the boy is the youngest. He’s the oldest. He’s the oldest. Bless him. He’s

Brittany Burnham 31:24
so happy that he’s without his sisters in middle school now.

Catherine Hover 31:28
Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

Brittany Burnham 31:30
they’re all so unique. But the so Bria is nine Skylar’s four. They’re my birth babies. And then my bonus babies are Jada and Jordan. Okay, they’re 10 and eight. But the girls are both in fourth grade together and they’re completely opposite, but they complement each other so well. So like, my Bria is such a tomboy. But then Gina is just like, give me the makeup. Give me all the sheen clothes.

Catherine Hover 31:55
Okay, so tell me like I don’t know if this is like, fair game here. Yeah, like, tell me like how all that went? Because you so you shared a video of like, kids coming off the bus and there being like this. Like, what? What was that and like, what’s happening?

Brittany Burnham 32:10
It’s okay, we’re not gonna cry here.

Catherine Hover 32:13
We can cry.

Brittany Burnham 32:15
Now, it has been quite the adventure. I would say in so many words. It’s been a challenge. We have been going through a custody battle for two years. I mean, they were introduced, they were Jada was three. Jordan was five. When they came into my life. They moved here from Idaho, Joe drove them because I met him. I was his coach. I was his trainer when he played with them all the Empire.

Catherine Hover 32:36
Okay, so at this point, you’re working at Albany Empire coaching or Trent auditioning.

Brittany Burnham 32:42
It was headed with Brett hit it with Brett with a partnership with Empire. And we trained to the team and

Catherine Hover 32:47
he was a member of the team. Yes. So he’s from Mississippi, but he’s got

Brittany Burnham 32:53
so they were separated and he was playing arena ball. He was He went from the NFL to CFL to AFL CIO, he was traveling, but they were traveling with him. And then when he was here, he asked her Can I move the I’m gonna play another year here. Can I move the kids here and put them into kindergarten and pre K? She agreed. And so he drove them back. So he drove them from Idaho to New York. And then she moved around like nine months after she moved here to Albany.

Catherine Hover 33:21
She was moving here to Okay, so we it was And y’all are dating at this time.

Brittany Burnham 33:26
I was actually pregnant after six months. So okay, it went but it wasn’t zero to 100 Yeah, it was I bought my house. It was brilliant. And I met him three months later, he moved the kids he had his own apartment. And then once I got pregnant, we all moved in together. And that was all within like six months and then I was engaged six months later. Okay, and had Skylee Yeah, lots happened.

Catherine Hover 33:47
So but explain who’s who’s the same age Bria,

Brittany Burnham 33:50
Bria and Jane at the same day May fourth grade. So it was cozy poses in fourth grade. Yeah. And then Jordans in fifth. So it was it was good. When she moved here. We tolerated her like she was coming over for you know, give me holidays and birthdays. I

Catherine Hover 34:08
mean, she’s moving her whole life. Yeah, right. And about close to the kids. I

Brittany Burnham 34:11
can I was always Switzerland, I was always the middle person. And Kate, you know, just to be the voice. So, and we got along, and then some, you know, some things were happening where she wanted to move back. And then when she decided to move back, we filed for a petition to keep them here.

Catherine Hover 34:28
And Should she take her kids? Uh,

Brittany Burnham 34:31
she, it was like an eight minute virtual because this is right after the pandemic. This is 2021. And we couldn’t even speak to our attorney that much. And the judge was just like, yeah, you can take the kids out of school and move to Idaho and this was me, they already here for three years. So they were in first and second grade at that time. So we actually went through three attorneys. It was one of the house experiences and when we lost them. It was God. We had Joe and I had to drive down. He was coaching for the Albany Empire at this time. So he’s done playing, we had to drive down to New Jersey, lost our kids. I mean, literally, she like pick them up from school. And she’s like, I’m driving. And no one could say bye. It was just one of the most traumatic experiences. And it was the same night of my LLS we were running for women of the US. It was the same night as the finale. And it was virtual. So I’m in a hotel room, and I’m just crying hysterically. And so and then Joe was coaching and then we just, we just knew it was gonna be the long game. Then once we did get our third attorney Joe found an attorney down in New York City who specifically advocates for for black fathers. It was more so he okay, how he was feeling where there was some race involved in this. So unfortunately, and I can validate that after what we experienced with the first two attorneys and how the system just let her take them. So there was an agreement for her to she white.

Catherine Hover 35:59
Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So where is she now? She like in Idaho? Yeah. She doesn’t see your kids.

Brittany Burnham 36:06
But we have full custody now. So she hasn’t seen them since? June. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s messy. It’s very messy. I would never put this experience on anyone. It was and the reason? I mean, when I say the long game, we’ve had to think we had to save a lot of documentation. My god screenshots of every everything and trial was in June, we just received and then we received full custody as of August. It Wow. Yeah. But that the turning point happened. So what was happening? We had them for six months they had and she had them for six months. So they would live in Idaho for half. That was the agreement. That was the it was that was the agreement. And if there was a change in circumstance, with their education, with their social with their health, their well being, and as soon as she got them back in January, she called CPS on me twice. She called the cops on us three times. It’s just been so emotionally exhausting and draining to have CPS come to your house. They had to speak to my four year old they had to ask my four year old if she’s ever been hit. If she just like, I’m like, What is my four year old gonna say? You know, they had to look in the fridge and look in the kizi Ruby

Catherine Hover 37:19
Ruby Woodville flat out lie to CPS and say she would, she is like so freaking smart. And I get the sense that she could be conniving almost probably lie. No, this, this was what was happening.

Brittany Burnham 37:39
It’s just like, oh my god, I’m being attacked. And here I am. And, and we have a good relationship. She knew I loved her kid love her kids and, like take care of them like they’re my own, and been with them more than half their life. So that was a turning point was when she was she said some horrible things about Bria and my daughter and and then once all the other ways of her trying to hurt us. It’s just like, what you have to tell your kids is like, hurt people hurt people like literally that, um, probably the only thing I can say about it is when people are hurting, they tried to hurt others. And we just have to always be honest. But the turning point was in March, when they were supposed to come here for their spring break. And she did not send them and she drove to Utah. And we they were off the grid, she made them turn off their phones. And my smart son, he went on Snapchat and sent me a picture of his of his whereabouts because we’re like, you’re supposed to be here, where are you? And they weren’t responding. But he sent his location services on Snapchat and like, How does my kid have Snapchat? You’re 10 years old. You know, that’s it. He was nine at the time. So long story short, it was that was the beginning of the end of where we saw where there was more mental health and patterns that we knew would eventually come up. Yeah, we just had to be patient. Everything is about patience. I mean from business to life, and this was just very iffy

Catherine Hover 39:06
I mean the faith you must have had to like think to yourself like okay, I’m doing the right thing for my kids I’m doing the right thing for me. Thank you my family faith you don’t talk about that at all and I’m not saying like I’m not like

Brittany Burnham 39:21
Miranda really helped me with that. Thank you for saying that because I did bring her into my life for what that part of that reason? We actually joined Macedonia Baptist church and it was the it was that point where I was just like I need to seek something bigger and higher and find and find my faith again because I was losing part of that from years ago. Pre pandemic So yeah, that was just a lot of praying a lot of patience a lot of persistence love we got those three my god yeah, a lot. Yeah. So

Catherine Hover 39:55
I have another story like in my own personal life, like, you know, family of just like and being patient. And just waiting is the same sort of thing like us like a custody situation, it’s like, just wait for that moment. Somebody, whether it’s the universe or God or source, whatever you call is going to provide you with with this thing that you are going to be able to utilize and, and get what everyone needs out of this.

Brittany Burnham 40:21
Yeah. So and it’s, you know, and it’s, it’s one of those things that, you know, that chapter close, but we’re still continuing another door has opened and it’s it’s always going to be it’s always going to be a battle, but it’s just how we respond to it. And we’re not you know, with Joe and I, we’ve learned not to react, we’ve learned so much about this, we became stronger together. And that was, you know, when you think of intentions behind actions, and it’s like both of us have, you know, athletic mindsets. We’re like we’re all about winning here. But we’re not going to fall into that trap to argue and to fight Oh, a lot of communication. And that was

Catherine Hover 41:02
yeah, like the art of like knowing when to hold them when to fold them and know when to let it go and fight for it. Oh, it control right art. Yes, that takes practice.

Brittany Burnham 41:14
We’ve gone through more than maybe some couples have in 20 years. Right. Right. All right. We just got to

Catherine Hover 41:20
keep Yeah, what is I mean, what is that though? Is it like you You remember being single mom and being

Brittany Burnham 41:26
I just I have lots of trust is trust issues? Yeah, definitely. Absolutely. stems from my, from my father. And then it continued with Brianna’s father and I was in a very abusive relationship like a he had a knife to my neck, and then he starts slitting his wrists like very mentally, emotionally physically abusive. And that was a turning point of okay, like, I need to always focus on me and worry about me and my daughter, most importantly, so trust is something I’m always trying to build on every facet. Yeah, in relationships, and as a boss and as a mom.

Catherine Hover 42:03
So yeah, maybe because you, you present as this like bubbly, amazing, confident helper, you know, but like, Don’t cross you. Right? Yeah, boundaries, you’re working on you strengthening them. And

Brittany Burnham 42:18
I have always felt that don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. But then I’m like, Hmm, Am I really that kind because of all the shit I’ve gone through. Like, I have a hard time when, like, when you’re talking about initiative and and being productive, because I’ve gone through so much to, to I lack empathy sometimes. So that’s something I’ve really been working on is being empathetic and just empathetic listening, because I’ve just dealt with my own stuff. And I’ve overcome and I’ve been so resilient, that I have to give grease to others that I’m trying to help and coach, whether it be my clients, my team, my family,

Catherine Hover 42:58
I totally get that because I’m just like, I don’t think that unless you’re pushed to the limit, do you really see where your strength is? You know, so I went to dinner with a friend of mine that we went to college together and in Mississippi, and now she lives up here. And we were just talking about, like, there was something came out of the Greek life system, or like somebody something bad happen. And I kind of mentioned Well, you know, like, you don’t you want your kids to go through that. And she was like, go through what I was like, you know, the trauma, you know, like, didn’t, don’t you feel like a build something in you? And she was like, no, no, why would you? Why would you ever want your kids to go through something so fucked up. And like, for what, just to prove that they they can overcome. And so it’s like, kind of like, hit me where it’s like, oh my God, I’ve been like, making an excuse for these shitty experiences, and bullying and bullying and hazing. And like all this stuff, and like, honestly, didn’t, I didn’t have to go through any of that shit, right? Like, I would have turned out just fine. I would I would imagine like in coaching, right? You’re like, you got this keep going on and you’re like, how do you really tell if somebody just doesn’t have it? And then we keep going, or they do need to overcome it? Yeah, we’re raising kids, right? We’re raising these little humans, we want them to grow up to be able to deal with whatever is going to be, you know, they’re going to have to face right, or do we want it to be really, you know, easy, easy. I don’t know, it’s a trick. I don’t have it figured out. But my friend Lauren, she is like, got a PhD and all the psychology stuff so like, Thank God she lives up here now. So she helped me through this because yeah, I mean, I sometimes like lean towards like I think about when you know I went to bed without dinner sometimes and I wasn’t doing what I was told to do. And that’s kind of like what I’m juggling with like Ruby right now where it’s like you know, now we’re eating we’re doing this and then we’re gonna go to bed and it’s just she just doesn’t listen so well. Right It’s because she’s never given has never been given like real consequences. Yeah, I think it was like two weeks ago. I like I did I sent her I left the food on the kitchen table. For her, and you know, but she was going to bed and that was like if you’re hungry, you should have came to the dinner table and sad, you know, like, it’s just, it’s hard. It’s hard when they have like, just such strong personalities.

Brittany Burnham 45:11
Oh, yeah. And I think about my four and what they’ve experienced in the past. Yeah, well nears they’re so resilient, but the traumatic events that even though they are okay, and they’re good, we have our kids in therapy. I mean, they love it. They’re gonna feelings doctor, and they’re just like, I’m ready to play with slime, and do all the sensory stuff and talk about my feelings like they love it. Yeah, so glad for that. So that is something where I value so much that they have experienced some trauma and some hardship, and I hope that gives them that thick skin. And that that experience,

Catherine Hover 45:47
what are your biggest tips or takeaways to incorporate faith or strengthen your faith in your business?

Brittany Burnham 45:55
It’s good question. You know, I think there’s different types of faith and how you can practice that and how that looks. That faith can be, you know, hands on with, in person, it can be journaling, it can be being surrounded by people of faith. And that’s how I started just my new adventure of practicing faith. Just in January, I was surrounding myself more I was putting little things out to see it. The number one word I’ve been saying to everyone who have who has asked me like any advice, any tips, because having kids out has taught me more patience, if you would ask my mom and dad, like, if you’re in a job interview, like what is your what is your weakness, I turn it around and say, you know, patience, but if it helps me step back and evaluate the bigger picture. And to know that time is so valuable, so we have to really understand, like the why. And when that patience is practiced, it’s like that instant gratification culture that we always want. And it’s getting even harder right now. I guess with patience, it’s just there’s never a destination. And even though when we’re looking at goals, and we’re setting certain dates, it’s going to happen if you continue being confident with it within yourself. Like the confidence really goes into that patience. If you firmly believe in yourself and what you’re capable of doing then that patience will set in and then then you can find like, where you want to go. Yeah, like it’s like that point of where you are right now and where you want to be. It’s patients and everyone those five freedoms.

Catherine Hover 47:40
Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, I love it. Well, so what’s the best way for people to like get in touch with you or work with you? I mean, this mastermind thing is the thing that you’re promoting are

Brittany Burnham 47:50
going to Yeah, yes, I have been and but like kind of on the low not as much as I’ve been wanting to,

Catherine Hover 47:56
you know, it’s going to blow up right? I put it out there people are gonna want to I have I have a

Brittany Burnham 48:01
Facebook right though. The mom boss Maximizer. I put that private Facebook group together because I just wasn’t ready to announce everything with everything going on. I was at capacity. You get it? Yeah. But I struggle on all the platforms of getting back to people like my goal is to get back to people in 24 hours Facebook. I finally I hadn’t I hadn’t messages on Facebook from December and I’m like, okay, just spend an hour just responding to everyone. So yeah, between my email info at mom, boss And then my Brittany dapper. And I’m on Instagram. That’s like my main platform of how I do communicate with everyone. And all my links are on there, everything.

Catherine Hover 48:42
So tell us more about power like can people join remotely

Brittany Burnham 48:46
power is located in slip 12 in downtown Albany used to be the old Huck Finn warehouse building. So it’s very the power proximity has been a great change since we moved. So any prospects, any potential people that are looking to start, we’ve changed our methods and how and that looks like a discovery call where my studio manager has a conversation about all your goals and your needs and your wants. We then bring you in for a consultation. Yeah, our coaches do is have like a screening. It’s got good like hour, and we don’t send people right to class anymore. Just think about everyone has unique needs limitations. Putting everyone in a group class is honestly just servicing the client and the coach and the people in the room because that new person really does need one on one attention. Yeah, especially with what we’re doing to our bodies. So as I have aged and my body has changed, and I’m real and I’m learning and educating myself and connecting with more people in the health and wellness community and looking to bridge that gap between health and fitness. That’s where power is going. We’re the only gym in the capital region that has is a unique system and how to join. So yeah, it’s we have personal training and group classes. It’s it’s not going straight to class anymore.

Catherine Hover 50:09
Yeah. Well, it’s intimidating to as a consumer like I can tell you like, I haven’t gone to the gym because of that reason. I’m just like, yeah, I want to be able to go in and don’t want to small talk. I don’t want to get to know other people. I just want to get in there get my shit done. I believe

Brittany Burnham 50:24
everyone’s different. And that’s why we also transitioned from hit it with Brett to power because of that intimidation factor. Yeah, people didn’t want to do the pounding of the body that high impact. I can’t do that. People still say I can’t do that. I can’t do that. And we’re like, Well, why don’t we first bring you in to have a consultation? Yeah, I have invested a lot with for my coaches to be mentored and educated and they all have their own. They’ll have their own coaches, and my studio manager has their own mentor. So every single one of them has a great plan with curriculum. That’s what they’re able to give differently. And that’s what sets us apart from

Catherine Hover 50:57
Yeah, we’re gonna love it. Yeah, I’m well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. I’m so honored to come back. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Brittany Burnham 51:03
You’re gonna come on mine. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for providing palette. I’m so happy that we’ve connected this much. I know so much more. We’re gonna do

Catherine Hover 51:10
so much more. It’s really, really are just getting started. I mean, there’s just the the possibilities are endless, you know, and the more people you bring in, the more that that grows. Yeah,

Brittany Burnham 51:22
yeah, absolutely.

Catherine Hover 51:25
All right. This week’s sneak peek from Saratoga living is their third annual whiskey night in Saratoga. Join Saratoga living and first fill spirits for a one of a kind whiskey tasting event that will take sippers on a journey through the world of bourbon and rye. Both seasoned whiskey drinkers and folks new to the spirits should come on down for an opportunity to taste some of the shops exclusive single barrel selections. This is also a great opportunity to get your holiday gifting done early Hello, doors open at 630 on November 8. Upon arrival, guests will receive a welcome Sagamore spirit can cocktail as a pre tasting starter. Thank you. The tasting will begin at 7pm Look if you don’t know the difference between bourbon and rye or whiskey, come learn it’s a total power move. Come on Come all and ladies. Whiskey is not just for men. So let’s see some women coming out for this whiskey tasting. Okay. Thank you for listening to this podcast. And if you want to connect with me slide into my DMs on Instagram. My handle is Catherine hoever

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